BACK TO THE BASICS
The proper place to begin using corporal punishment, is in the home and family. Very Mild forms of spanking in the "early years" of childhood, can save more severe spankings down the road. Once a child KNOWS they face the strong possibility of being spanked for their offenses, they are more likely to stay out of trouble and try harder to obey.
Remember the 5-year-old and the 25 year old have the same carnal nature, so the same type of discipline works to help curb their desire to do wrong. A child who wants to steal a toy, and a young adult who wants to steal a car, are both guilty of theft. While the intensity of the punishment should be much greater for the young adult, corporal punishment based discipline should be considered as an option in either case.
We use REVERSE LOGIC when we spank a young child, and NOT a young adult. If anything, it is the young adult who has the greater degree of guilt. (and the greater need of discipline) If a young child were spanked when they did wrong, and they knew young adults were spanked even harder, things would rapidly improve across our world. The best way to limit or eliminate the necessity of using corporal punishment on adults, is to spank them for their offenses while they are still children.
As crazy as it may sound to the anti-spanking crowd, spanking is the best prevention against true physical violence. Children who are never spanked are the ones most likely to cause or experience serious violence during their lifetime.
Many people ASSUME I endorse child abuse, because I endorse the biblical concept of using the “rod of correction” on children for certain offenses. Jesus says this regarding child abuse, and as a Christian I believe exactly what He says:
Matthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.
WHAT IS DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE?
Domestic discipline is a concept which means different things, to different people. To some, a parent spanking their child would be considered as a form of DD. Others may also include the spanking of a spouse, as a DD based concept. Some would also consider erotic or sexual based “spanking activity”, as a form of DD. In short, there is no definition of DD which would be totally acceptable by everyone.
I believe DD is best described as a method of insuring accountability within the context of the home and family unit. This type of discipline has NOTHING to do with spanking for reasons related to erotic or fantasy based activity. For corporal punishment (CP) based discipline to work effectively, it must be administered in a manner which will provide an incentive to do good, and avoid evil. Anything less, and DD will simply become a game, and useless as a tool of discipline.
While I will go into a great amount of detail regarding these differences, I want to establish up-front that BDSM, S&M, and even spanking as sexual foreplay, is not something which falls within the context of DD. In reality, DD is simply a contemporary label for biblical and traditional based discipline, which has existed for thousands of years upon planet Earth.
The opinions, concepts, and ideas, expressed in this book are based on my personal beliefs. I do not tell others how to handle discipline matters, I simply point them toward information which may help them to decide such things for themselves. Every individual is responsible for their deeds and actions, and must decide what will work best for them. God tells us a lot in the bible, but we are free moral agents who are given the option to accept or reject His directives. I am but a flawed human being, so please don’t expect perfection from me. (or anything close)
Since I have already written a lot of articles and commentary regarding DD, I will incorporate some of my prior writings in this publication. Some of these texts are available on various web sites, so don’t be surprised if some of what I write here seems familiar to you…
TABLE OF CONTENTS:
01. The structure and chain-of-command of the family unit.
02. The reason domestic discipline is an essential in life.
03. When discipline becomes reality.
04. The actual spanking of spouses.
05. Is domestic discipline for everyone?
06. Should corporal punishment ever be mandatory for adults?
01. THE STRUCTURE AND CHAIN-OF-COMMAND OF THE FAMILY UNIT
This is a most basic, but essential doctrine many people ignore to their own peril. To ignore the truths regarding marriage and the family unit, is to invite disaster and create problems which may never be rectified. Worse yet, people who live together outside of the sanctity of a marriage union often beget children who will do the same thing after they become adults. Bluntly speaking, “shacking up” is a curse which will harm children for many future generations. Don’t play house, unless you first marry and become a spouse.
As far as I am concerned, any person who is not married has no business trying to establish a DD type relationship. If you are not married to the person you want to be held accountable to, you are most likely going to end up being taken advantage of by them. Too often, “spanking” becomes a gateway to sex, or physical abuse, if there is not a love-based COMMITTED relationship in place between the spanker and the spankee.
The only exception to the above rule in my book, is discipline administered by a parent or mentor. If a young adult feels they can benefit by entering into an agreement whereby a parent or mentor figure uses CP based discipline to help persuade them to stay out of trouble, I believe it would be a good option for them to prayerfully consider. A loving parent, or a trustworthy mentor, would never use their position of authority to do anything which would be immoral or cruel to a person they are dedicated to helping overcome problems.
Jesus Christ is the Head of the Body of Christ, which is a “family unit” directly inspired of God. Like any family, it has a well defined Leader and a system of laws and precepts each “family member” is mandated to follow. When someone in the family of God does wrong, God PROMISES to chastise them. (see Hebrews chapter 12) If you escape the discipline of God, the bible says you are a bastard and NOT a son at all. Even most non-Christian religions accept the fact God is a Father figure, in the truest sense of the word. If you believe God is anti-CP in His doctrinal views, please read the bible and understand He intends to rule upon this Earth in the future using a ROD OF IRON to keep the carnal nature of humanity in check.
The bible also clearly teaches us the man is the head of his wife, as Jesus is the head of the church. (see Ephesians chapter 5) Both the bible and tradition support the concept of the husband being the leader in the home and family unit. In 1 Timothy chapter 3, the scriptures tell how a man is to RULE his home, in no uncertain terms. Both society and the church have ignored these traditional and biblical truths, and we have suffered greatly because of our rebellion against God and common sense. Marriage vows are no longer intended to be taken seriously, as marriage vows usually become broken promises within a very short period of time. The idea of “until death do we part,” has been replaced by the unstated term of “until divorce do we part”.
The old testament foretold a time when women and children would rule men, and this is evident to anyone who has “eyes to see” things as they really are. Women order their spouse to the doghouse, and the male puppy scurries toward it as directed. Children define the limits of their own discipline, or threaten to make a 911 phone call. Even God has not escaped such treatment, as His own “family members” often place the ramblings of the social services people, above the Spirit-inspired word of God Himself. In short, we are in BIG TROUBLE!
When a man and a woman marry, it is NOT supposed to be a 50/50 proposition. When a person believes and accepts Jesus Christ as Savior, they also accept His Lordship. When a woman marries, she is actually granting her spouse the authority to become her Earthly lord and master. If you find this concept shocking, it simply shows how far you have strayed from the TRUTH.
While I am a member of God’s family, I would not be so foolish to assume I would have equal authority with Christ, as He is the Head of his family of believers. For a woman to assume she is a co-ruler in the home, would be like me asking Jesus to push over so I could share His throne with him. Folks, this just won’t happen! (trust me on this)
Even the politicians in times past, knew a man was the king of his castle. Huey Long who ran for, and won the office of governor in Louisiana years ago, understood this simple truth. If even the secular powers were aware if this truth, how come the church people have forgotten this? It is a terrible commentary on believers, when worldly politicians understand Godly concepts MORE than the average Christians do.
Like it or not, the chain-of-command in the home places the headship office upon the shoulders of the husband. This is true even if the male spouse is a “dud”, and a poor leader in the home. If a woman marries a “mouse” of a man, she should not be shocked to discover he cannot maintain happiness or order within the home. If this sad situation exists, the woman is still COMMANDED to obey and reverence her husband by God Himself.
Both men and women need to do the research, and rediscover the truth concerning the roles husbands and wives are ordained to live by. Many men will marry a woman simply because she is beautiful, and not even worry about her beliefs concerning the “S” word. (submission) If a woman will not respect and obey her husband, she is not worthy to be married to any man. If a man will not assume his place of authority and leadership in the home, he should stay single until he “wakes up” and smells the coffee.
If you wish to debate this, please do so elsewhere. You won’t change what God has said in the bible, and you won’t even change my mind either. While I am very prone to make mistakes like anyone else, some things are just too easy to understand if you have an open mind. If you want to rearrange the order of the universe, please do so within the confines of your own blighted mind. Until we restore the dignity of the home and family unit, people like this will continue to destroy what is left of our decaying society. We need a world run by believers, not deceivers. Rebellion is as witchcraft, so why not simply live the role God ordained for you, and begin to ENJOY life for a change?
When family life is structured properly, every family member lives the role they were created to live by. Nothing is more attractive to a woman, than a man who knows how to “take charge” and lead BY EXAMPLE. Nothing pleases a man more than a woman who enjoys being under his authority, and under his protection. I feel sorry for the LIBERATED woman, as she has simply “liberated” herself from the passion and power of an intimate relationship which cannot exist without this hierarchy being in place.
A well ordered and structured marriage relationship provides the best possible environment for a husband and wife, and it is the ONLY type of home children can be properly raised in. If you desire a deep love-based marriage, and children who will make you proud to be a parent, do things God’s way and stop playing “power trip” games in your home. Jesus set the example by submitting to His Father in heaven, I strongly encourage you to assume the role God has created for you to live by. To do anything less, is rebellion toward the Highest Authority there is. If a woman refuses to submit to her own husband, she is actually failing to submit to God Himself.
Children are unlikely to obey their parents, if they fail to see a pattern of leadership and submission in their own home. If you want to pre-create a mess of a marriage for your own offspring, just ignore the concepts which God has “published” in His instruction manual. We are a created people, and our Creator has provided us with guidelines to help us succeed in life. Live the role you were created for, and your entire family will benefit because of it. Ignore it, and your family life will be on a par with the sit-coms, and soap operas presented on network television shows. (need I say more?)
02. THE REASON DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE ISAN ESSENTIAL IN LIFE
Romans 8:7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
This verse is an important KEY as to why CP works for the benefit of both children and ADULTS alike. Our “carnal mind” is a biblical term for what most refer to as our human nature. Since our human nature is present with us from birth until death, the idea of discipline only working with children is absurd. When children become teens or young adults, they have EXACTLY the same carnal mind they have always had. This means they will still benefit from being disciplined when they do wrong. Accountability should be a 24/7 factor for life, no matter what your chronological age may be. (of course, babies and the elderly would be obvious exceptions to this rule)
Roman 8:7 is absolute proof your carnal self will never do good, simply because it is the right thing to do. This verse tells us our carnal mind is AGAINST God, it is not subject to law, and it NEVER will be! Yet, most people live by the guidance and the desires of this flawed and evil side of all human beings. Can’t you see such people are totally lost, and will never please God in their flesh? Our carnal self is fed by lust, greed, and everything unclean and ungodly in life.
Even God Himself, cannot deal with this part of us. He knows our carnal self must die, BEFORE we can become a “new creation” in-Christ. If God knows better than to attempt to clean up and renew our carnal self, we ought to take the hint and stop trying to do the same. If you die while under the influence and direction of you carnal self, you WILL NOT be able to enter heaven under any circumstances. No unclean thing will enter the Holy City God has prepared for His children. (see Ephesians 5:5)
There is way to help deal with our carnal flesh, and help keep it under control. Corporal punishment works WONDERS, as it is something “our flesh” wants to avoid at all costs. Even the things people lust the greatest for can be kept at bay, IF there is a strong enough deterrent. If the penalty is severe enough, even hardened criminals will “think twice” before committing more crimes. Our flesh is like a hungry beast, with a “chicken” type of heart. A small cane, can keep “this beast” in check to a great degree. CP works, and it works well.
The reason the bible COMMANDS and ENDORSES CP, is because it is an effective way to control people who have no fear of God, or respect for the law. Our present society is so lawless because we have thrown out the baby with the water, regarding discipline in general. There is a place for CP based discipline in the home, and a NEED for CP based discipline in other places as well. There in no place in the bible which tells us to cease the use of CP, when children become adults. This is one of those concepts society and the church have accepted as a fact, even though the bible refers to STRIPES being applied to the backs of adults in the future tense. God Himself, plans to rule our planet using a ROD OF IRON. Try telling Him, whipping people is cruel and unusual punishment! Even non-believers have used flogging and other methods of CP for centuries, upon those who would not abide by the laws of the land they lived in. If anything, CP is the most merciful form of punishment available. A short duration of intense pain, can deter a person from a whole lifetime of misery and pain.
The proper place to begin using CP, is in the home and family. Very mild forms of spanking in the “early years” of childhood, can save more severe spankings down the road. Once a child KNOWS they face the strong possibility of being spanked for their offenses, they are more likely to stay out of trouble and try harder to obey. Remember, the 5 year old and the 25 year old have the same carnal nature, so the same type of discipline works to help curb their desire to do wrong. A child who wants to steal a toy, and a young adult who wants to steal a car, are both guilty of theft. While the intensity of the punishment should be much greater for the young adult, CP based discipline should be considered as an option in either case. We use REVERSE LOGIC when we spank a young child, and NOT a young adult. If anything, it is the young adult who has the greater degree of guilt. (and the greater need of discipline) If a young child was spanked when they did wrong, and they knew young adults were spanked even harder, things would rapidly improve across our world. The best way to limit or eliminate the necessity of using CP on adults, is to spank them for their offenses while they are still children. As crazy as it may sound to the anti-spanking crowd, spanking is the best prevention against true physical violence. Children who are never spanked are the ones most likely to cause or experience serious violence during their lifetime.
While this book deals specifically with DD, I feel obligated to point out a few facts regarding the use of CP in a judicial context. I have spoken to people who live in Singapore, which is a city and country a criminal would not want to set-up shop in. The law enforcement system includes people who are trained to use a cane, which is a very effective tool of discipline to say the least! Painful CP is especially useful in the prevention of second and third offenses, by young people who might otherwise commit crime on a regular basis. If we sent our delinquent youth to Singapore instead of to the social workers, we would only have to deal with most of these youthful offenders on a one time basis. Anyone who feels a stern whipping is worse than a lifetime of crime, needs to “wake up” and seek the Light of Truth and logic.
Most of the people who are “into”, or considering DD as an option in their home and family, are likely to be also be advocates of spanking spouses for certain types of offenses. In most cases the spanker would be the husband, and the spankee would be his wife. There are also some husbands who will submit to being spanked by their wife, if they have agreed to make the DD a bi-directional matter. For the moment, let’s just consider the concept of spousal spanking in a very general context.
While I believe all people are created equal, and all believers are equal in-Christ, it is not reasonable or logical to consider “equality” as nullifying the level of authority some people have over others. Jesus thought it not robbery to be equal with God the Father, yet He submitted to Him on a voluntary basis for OUR benefit. Jesus set the example, and we should follow the path and the pattern He established for all creation.
Whenever a person refuses to submit to someone who has a position of authority over them, they are guilty of the sin of rebellion. If the authority figure is your employer, your rebellion could result in your termination from your job. If the authority figure is a policeman, rebellion could turn a minor traffic violation into a crime which could cause you to spend time behind bars. If you resist the authority of the Ultimate Authority, it could cost you eternity.
The common thread to all of this is, your refusal to submit to a lawful authority figure almost always has a penalty attached to it. If a wife feels she can simply ignore the instructions of her own husband, she should be willing to “pay the price” he demands for her rebellion toward him. A spousal discipline plan which includes spanking, is a very practical way to insure a spouse does not become an “adult brat” and destroy the quality of life in a marriage relationship. If there are children present in the home, the gravity of this kind of situation is multiplied by a substantial negative factor. To believe an “adult brat” should be treated with the same degree of dignity as a respectful and cooperative adult would, is truly a form of self-deception and foolishness. If an adult acts as if they are a child, I believe they should be subject to the same type of discipline a child would receive for their offenses.
While there is no rigid prescription or formula for the discipline of an adult, I believe there are a few guidelines which can help determine a suitable approach when using CP based discipline on a spouse. Many people want to know if a husband should ask his wife if she is she is willing to accept such discipline, while others feel the wife is obligated to accept the chastisement of her mate based on his “headship” in the home and family. While I will present my views concerning this, it is not my place or responsibility to dictate the way such matters are handled by other married couples. However, I strongly advise ALL spouses to “study the scriptures” and research this matter before declining to incorporate CP into their marriage relationship.
From my personal perspective, I believe all people in authority have by default the right to enforce the laws and policies they require others to abide by. If this is not the case, the person is “in charge,” in name only. It would be like asking a policeman to catch all of the thieves and other criminals, but withhold their power to arrest law violators. What would you think of a judge who could find people guilty of their offenses, but have no power to actually sentence them? Many men are told they are supposed to be in charge of their “castle”, but they are also told they have no legal means to enforce the rules and policies they establish in the own home. This is the same type of situation as judges holding parents accountable for the offenses their offspring commit, but forbidding these same parents from disciplining their young in any meaningful way. I love the logic of the INFIDEL, as it is positive proof they are as lost as a silly goose.
In my way of thinking marriage is by default, a union that obligates a wife to obey her husband. (even if the word OBEY is omitted from the vows exchanged in the marriage ceremony itself) Marriage is an institution created by God, so we don’t have an option to change His directives concerning the way it is supposed to be entered into, and maintained. Since the wife is required to obey her husband, he has the option of using discipline if she disregards his rules or his instructions. Disciplined is ordained of God, and no social or legal agency has a right to override His directives. DD is a system of “family based discipline”, and a wife most certainly is a member of the family unit.
DD is not wife beating, or child abuse. It is a reasonable and measured response to an offense which is severe enough to merit such CP. Remember, anything less will simply encourage the “carnal flesh” to repeat such an offense. A sound spanking can work wonders to “chase the brat away”, and turn a rebellious child or adult into a loving member of the household again. Any experienced parent knows this simple fact, no matter what the anti-spanking people claim to the contrary.
I believe every man and woman reading this book can envision someone they know who would benefit from a sound spanking, no matter the gender or age of the brat they have in mind. You would not believe the number of men who are so frustrated by wives who need a trip over their knee, and a kiss from a hair brush, or a firm hand. You would not believe the number of women who would love to be spanked by their mate, even if they resisted and threatened to call 911 beforehand. If you doubt these claims, you should see the email I receive on a daily basis!.
I am not saying DD is what marriage should be all about, I am simply saying DD is something which can round out and smooth out the bumps which can destroy the quality of life in a loving family home. The key to abuse prevention is LOVE, not a refusal to administer discipline under any circumstances. You could cure gluttony by refusing to eat anything at all, but the end result would be death by starvation. Maybe “common sense” is no longer very “common” at all..
I have found it does not take very intense discipline, to redirect the path of a wayward adult. The simple truth is, many kids can take a “licking” better than their parents can. I advocate the idea of each spouse spanking the other spouse, BEFORE they incorporate spanking into their basic household discipline policies. Parents will be a lot less likely to spank their young too hard, when they actually KNOW the degree of pain a spanking can generate. The knowledge of this “pain factor” can also help insure the husband will not get too aggressive and intense if he finds it necessary to disciplines his wife. When LOVE is the basis of discipline, and spanking is something both parents can honestly relate to, there will not be any abuse in the home..
If you or your spouse refuse to incorporate DD into your household, I feel very sorry for you. If you are truly against spanking under all circumstances, you really are not fit to be a parent or a spouse. If your household members are as goody-goody as you claim, they will not care what discipline policy is in effect. To only valid reason not to spank is to have family members who NEVER do anything wrong. If you claim to be part of such a “faultless” family, I believe YOU deserve a whipping for lying! .
Of course I understand there are spouses who would never need to be punished in any manner, as they are able to maintain a high degree of respect and integrity within their marriage relationship at all times. If this is the case regarding your spouse, you most likely won’t be reading my book in the first place. On the other hand, if your spouse is able to maintain such a high standard of conduct, they may be more than willing to submit to a self imposed DD arrangement. Why fear agreeing to a penalty you will not ever do anything to merit? Why not use your voluntary submission to discipline to set the example for those who could benefit from DD? .
I also want to address the issue of the male spouse being disciplined by his wife. This is one area of this discussion where I have to admit there is no “fixed plan” which will work in all households. There are some men who are just so “in charge,” their spouse would not ever think it was her place to discipline him for any reason. If a relationship is structured like this, I would not advocate changing it in anyway at all. If such a union is founded on love, the man will never abuse his position of authority in the home. If their union is founded on control and domination, it will certainly fail at some point in time. If you use the label of “domestic discipline” in an attempt to conceal or justify abuse, you are a most miserable failure in life and a disgrace to your family..
There are also men who are “in charge,” but do not mind submitting themselves to the very same rules and polices they expect the other household members to follow. While Jesus did not sin and violate any of the laws he created, He would have been a law violator if He had done so. Jesus SUBMITTED and obeyed the very same laws He told others to obey. To me, leadership by EXAMPLE means a lot more than leading by only issuing directives for OTHERS to follow..
If I do something I would punish another household member for doing, I would INSTRUCT my wife to discipline me in the same manner I would discipline someone else who had committed the same type of offense. This retains the chain-of-authority in the home, yet insures a degree of accountability for ALL family members. This also helps insure the “head of the household” will be reasonable concerning discipline, as he may find himself on the RECEIVING END of the discipline at times..
In short, DD is not abuse. It is a very sound practice which all family members can truly benefit from. When there is an “accountability factor” in place in the home, things just work better for all concerned. If you think a spank-free home is a safe home to live in, I hope you are a cat with at least 9 lives left to spare..
03. WHEN DISCIPLINE BECOMES REALITY.
After all is said and done concerning the reasons DD should be incorporated into your family lifestyle, it is the actual implementation of the punishment which will make the most “impact” on your loved ones. If you have decided CP based punishment if the right type of discipline for your household members, you need to determine how to best administer spankings in your own home..
As mentioned earlier, there is no prescribed manner to accomplish this task. The husband and his wife are the authority figures in their own home, and they must decide how and when to discipline their children. If the discipline involves a spouse, it is still the responsibility of the “spanker” to determine how and when discipline should be administered to the “spankee.” .
The following guidelines are based on my personal beliefs, and are placed here for your prayerful consideration. If you love and care for your family members, you won’t be spanking your loved ones in a cruel or brutal manner. While DD is a terrific tool to help you maintain the quality of life in your home and family, it is not a license to do wrong..
Young children need not be spanked very hard to “get their attention,” and help them to see the error of their ways. A parent or guardian can use their open hand to spank kids on their bare buttocks and produce “stinging pain”, without the need to spank them in an intense manner. If you fail to administer these very basic entry-level spankings while your children are young, you will be sorry when you see your beautiful toddler becomes a total brat within a few short years..
As children become older, you may find it necessary to use an implement like a belt, hair brush, or paddle, to do an effective job of spanking them. I recommend younger children (pre-teens) be spanked “bare butt” as a safety factor, so you can monitor any marks you may create during the spanking process. Some kids can endure a lot of pain, and may require a more intense spanking than others. This is why I WON’T tell you how long, or how hard, to spank them. If you spank kids fully clothed, you will most likely spank them too hard and risk injuring them. Or they may not even feel any pain due to the thick clothing, and mock your attempt to discipline them. Teens and older pre-teens, are the kids you have to be the most careful with. If you wait too long to introduce spanking based discipline to your children, you will create many unnecessary problems because of you prior neglect. When kids are spanked in their early years, they will be less likely to need CP as they begin to mature into adulthood. If they do wrong, you should stand up for your convictions and do whatever is necessary to hold them accountable for their actions..
Once a child begins to physically mature enough to have an “adult type” body, it is of primary importance NOT to discipline them in a manner which would cause them to “make an internal association” between spanking and any type of sexual arousal. Parents and guardians must also face the fact that this type of “connection” may already be in place, within the mind of children and adults. Even if this is the case, I still feel the CP based punishment is a worthwhile endeavor. I say this because I feel the “connection” can be severed to a great degree by keeping their discipline firm, and promptly administered..
I believe the idea of using HUMILIATION to “add to” the punishment of an offender, is a foolish undertaking. If you feel you should strip children or adults nude before you spank them, you are fooling yourself by calling it DD. In fact, you are either really misinformed, or you have a full blown “spanking fetish.” A sound spanking is MORE than enough of a punishment in itself, you can’t “improve” on it by adding humiliation to the punishment. (especially the humiliation of being see in the nude by others) If an older child or an adult is spanked in any fashion, it is humiliation enough for ANYONE..
An older child or teenager can be spanked “bare butt” without exposing private parts of the body, like the genital area. Offenders in this age group should be spanked with some type of implement, as the human hand is not a practical instrument to use on the backside of an adult. If you spank hard enough to do the job, you may well actually do physical damage to your hand. If you use an implement carefully, you can achieve the desired results without becoming abusive in any manner..
One of the primary reasons parents and guardians should be the primary people to administer discipline is, they KNOW their children. They can easily tell when enough is enough, and also when to increase the intensity and the duration of a spanking session. Spanking should conducted in a prompt and business like manner, without a lot of discussion and ceremony. The clothing should be adjusted enough to expose the buttocks area, and the spanking should begin immediately. Brisk applications of pain will quickly drive away any erotic overtones which may be encouraged, if discipline becomes a long and drawn out game. A firm spanking will deter future offenses, if conducted properly..
Spanking adults is much the same as spanking teens, except the spankings should be harder and longer in duration. Many young adults seek mentors who will hold them accountable when they do wrong, and they often want the mentor to have the option of CP available in their toolbox. As with teenagers, their discipline should be swift and intensive. This will help insure the spanking will remain non-erotic in nature, and be an effective form of discipline. A very intense spanking with a thick belt, or a spanking with a cane, will do the job very well on most adults. When you consider the type of problems many adults get into, a spanking is more than a fair price to pay for their evil deeds..
04. THE ACTUAL SPANKING OF SPOUSES: After all is said and done, it is up to the man and wife to either accept or reject, CP based accountability in the home. Because of the special “intimate relationship” between a man and his wife, there are special considerations to consider regarding spousal discipline. If a man believes it is his rightful place to discipline his wife WITHOUR her consent, he must be willing to accept full responsibility for his actions. While I believe there is a scriptural basis for a man holding his wife accountable in this manner, the man who does this may find himself behind bars, or being served divorce papers. The best way to prevent these type of reactions is to marry someone with the same type of beliefs you have regarding DD, and the chain-of-command in the home. If either spouse becomes a believer in DD after they marry, they will normally have to do a LOT of praying, and spend a LOT of time “converting” their spouse. (more about this later).
When a man and wife AGREE concerning DD, it is a good sign they also agree concerning many other marriage related matters. The joy people like this share, is the best possible testimony as to the benefits of a marriage relationship with DD incorporated into it. No woman can give her husband any greater gift, than her total submission to his love and his authority over her. When this happens, a man will dedicate his life to pleasing his wife in every possible way. The end result is two very happy people, and a home built upon solid scriptural ground..
Many people ask me about spousal spanking agreements, as a way of defining some borders and limits regarding their DD arrangement. I have read a few different such agreements, and I have even composed one myself. While I am not totally against the idea of making a legally binding agreement concerning DD, I believe the BEST route to true happiness is always based on mutual love, trust, and respect. People seem to be able to engage in sexual lovemaking without a pre-defined list of activities, and restrictions. Can you imagine a married couple drafting a “contract” to govern their sexual life? To do so would insure dull sex, and open doors for both spouses to seek “satisfaction” outside of their marriage relationship. If your marriage is healthy, you won’t have to make special agreements involving DD or anything else concerning your spouse..
While I don’t believe contracts or agreements are necessary, I do believe spouses should be able to discuss things like DD without problems. Even a king has people he trusts in, to provide him with counsel. Your wife is such a person, as she knows you better than anyone else on Earth should. Your exploration into the world of DD can be a true adventure, if handled properly. The end result is worth the effort, so don’t avoid the quest just because there are some “unknown” factors along the journey..
A good place to start on the DD road, is within the marriage bed. Many couples play around with spanking to some degree, as part of their sexual foreplay. This affords them an opportunity to use their “play” as a means to indoctrinate each spouse into the realm of spanking as a form of REAL discipline. A husband might increase the intensity of a play spanking “just enough” to let his wife know what she can expect if she does something wrong. Chances are she would take the hint, and make a mental note to remember there was now an “extra” factor of accountability in her life..
Some people look upon spanking for pleasure, as something perverted or kinky at best. I believe there is a place for erotic spanking within the context of marriage, if it is something a husband and wife enjoy together. As with sexual intercourse, spanking for erotic reasons should ONLY be conducted within the framework of a true marriage relationship. The marriage bed is God’s gift to husbands and wives, and it is there own personal “playground.” If we would all remember this, we might play more and sleep less while in bed..
Having said all of this, we need to understand true discipline should be a LOT different than any other type spanking experience. It is important to understand that discipline is punishment, and not a prelude to sex. While couples may disrobe completely for erotic spankings, I believe true discipline spankings should be a non-erotic as possible. Since the buttocks area should be the target of a discipline spanking, it is not necessary to strip a spouse naked to spank them. Simply have your spouse lower their outer clothing and underwear enough to expose their buttocks, and spank them firmly enough to deter a repeat offense. If you spank too lightly or make a game out of the discipline process, you will create more problems than you cure..
True discipline is something which works because it deals directly with our carnal nature. This “fleshly nature” drives us toward things like sex, food, and drink, but it does not want anything to do with God, and concepts like righteous living. If there is not a penalty in place for doing wrong, your “flesh” will ALWAYS steer you straight into trouble, misery, and pain. The flesh is a dumb spirit, because it disregards even the “natural” penalties wrong actions bring upon us. An alcoholic will lust after alcohol and having a drunken spree, knowing IN ADVANCE their will be headaches, hangovers, and such, as a direct result of their drinking binge..
Our carnal nature has a place in life, as it is part of us as much as our physical body is. God wants us to eat, drink, and even enjoy things like sex, but only in accordance with His rules and regulations regarding such things. Eat, but don’t become a glutton, Drink, but don’t become a drunkard. Enjoy sex, but only with your spouse. Your carnal self can be gratified in many ways, without getting into excess and sin. It can and will remind you to eat, and do other things which are not evil by default..
The book of Galatians talks about Earthly kings who are trained and corrected, in their youth. Kings may be spanked in their youth, by the very same servants they one day rule over. In a way, our carnal self is like a child. It drives us toward both good and bad things, UNTIL we “get saved” and begin to be directed by the Spirit of God instead. In some ways an unsaved person is like a kid who never grows up..
No matter the degree of control your carnal flesh has over you, it will ALWAYS respond to CP based punishment. Sinner or saint, you will be less inclined to do wrong when there is a price to pay for your wrong doing. Christians are to reckon their fleshly nature as being dead and buried, but it is always there to haunt us if we allow it to be resurrected to some degree. If you don’t feed your “new self” with prayer and bible study, the “old man” will become a literal ghost in your life. God forbids us to play around with dead things, which includes our pre-salvation self!.
We are born with a carnal nature, and it is the primary driving force in life for ALL human beings. Because of this “fact of life,” CP is the “remedy of choice” to control our carnal self. While the Spirit of God can override this force when people accept Jesus as Lord and Savior, most do not do so until they become adults and answer God’s call upon their life. Even those who do, often need a time of “training and correction” until they learn to trust and rely on God by faith. If our secular and religious world understood this simple truth, we would all be a lot better off. Even people who will never accept Christ, will live better lives here on Earth, if they are held accountable for the things they do..
While a husband may have as many, or even more problems than his wife, it is still his place to enforce the rules and discipline her. Even a parent who does wrong, is still obligated to discipline their own children. When a husband does not do his job, the entire household is in jeopardy. When the man of the house has strength, integrity, and dedication, his entire family cannot help but do better. If Mrs. **** is too proud or arrogant to accept discipline when she does wrong, she is unfit for office as a wife and mother. If Mr. **** won’t discipline his own wife, he is unfit for office too. Who would obey God, if He did not enforce His directives? God would not be God, if He just let “his kids” always do what they wanted to do. (see Hebrews chapter 12) It is time for us to do what is right, even when it not “politically correct” to do so..
When you use CP based discipline upon your spouse, you are administering a small amount of physical pain to prevent major problems down the road. A sore backside is a small price to pay, to keep a marriage intact. When a spouse simply does anything they want, and is not held accountable for the wrongs they do, the marriage becomes a bed of anguish, bitterness, and resentment. If this goes unchecked, the marriage may well decline to a point where either or both spouses become unfaithful. After this occurs, divorce is usually the next and final step toward total destruction of what should have been a Holy union. Pity the children born of a such a flawed relationship, as they will often just repeat the same mistakes later in life. .
If you and your wife are not truly “led of the Spirit,” you are led by your carnal nature. If this is the case, BY ALL MEANS incorporate DD into your relationship. A few firm spankings can very possible save your marriage, and change a smart mouthed spouse into a loving, caring, and respectful person. If a spouse is not willing to submit to a reasonable and fair DD type arrangement, it is a good indication their priorities are totally selfish in nature. Any person who wants a “free pass” to do wrong is very immature, spoiled, and a terrible commentary on their own family. They are also deceived, as PAYDAY arrives for everyone in time..
If you are married, you are either first or second in command in your own home. (depending on your gender) If you are the MR. In the home, make sure you take your job seriously and NEVER allow your wife or children to escape the penalty for doing wrong. Be fair and reasonable, but be consistent in your discipline. For serious offenses, always consider spanking the offender. (minor offenses can be handled in different ways) Do this, and you will be proud of your family members at all times. Neglect this area of life, and you will be ashamed to admit you are the “head” of your home..
If your are the MRS. In the home, you need to be sure you discipline your children on a consistent basis, and you need to be sure you submit to discipline when you do wrong. This is a great testimony toward others, who know nothing about DD concepts. While they look upon you as being at least “a little crazy,” these people will also notice you are truly happy and at peace inside. When they compare the joy in life you have with their relative state of misery, you may find they begin asking questions concerning some of your DD concepts and practices..
I am not here to tell you when, how, and how much, to discipline anyone in your household. All I ask is for you to prayerfully look at DD as something that can improve, and maintain a high degree of integrity and order within the framework of your own home and family. You have everything to gain and nothing lose, when you do things God’s way. DD is a contemporary term for concepts that originated in the garden of Eden. You can be an “Eve” and buy the lies of this world’s that originate from far down below, or you can embrace the TRUTH which was manifested to us by the Second Adam. Think carefully, as the Second Adam is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ!.
05. IS DOMESTIC DISCIPLINE FOR EVERYONE ?.
Yes, and no! While this answer appears to be the product of a “double-minded” type of individual, I will try to explain why I answer this important question this way..
The YES part, is based on the following premises. Since God has ordained various positions of authority for people to hold on Earth, EVERYONE is obligated to be under submission to certain higher authorities. The scriptures tell us the power of government, is actually derived from God. The authority of the man in his own household, is also derived from God. God also ordains certain people in the church, to “rule over” others as pastors, etc. At the highest level of all, God Himself rules supreme..
This being the case, ALL PEOPLE (lost and saved) are under the authority of many people who have the power to discipline or punish them is some manner. To ignore this truth regarding the organization and structure of the family unit, is very wrong to say the least..
With the exception of God Himself, all others in positions of authority are far from perfect in their judgments. We also need to realize God while endorses the positions of authority many hold, He does NOT necessarily endorse the person holding office. When a person in authority does wrong, God holds them MORE responsible for their evil deeds than “everyday people.” A church pastor who leads people astray, is a good example of this. He will also incur part of the guilt for those he led astray, even though the flock will also be judged for doing wrong too..
Even a corrupt government can have some positive effects, as they will often enforce laws and punish criminals who violate them. Don’t fool yourself into believing you can disobey authority figures, just because they are not people of integrity. A cop who steals money from drug pushers, will most likely still arrest you for crimes you commit. While your husband may be a real bum in many ways, he is still someone you must submit to as the “head” of your household..
All of this does not matter, if you are the type of person who is able to do right and submit to those in authority over you. I don’t worry about what the penalty for bank robbery is, as I am not going to rob a bank and suffer the consequences of my actions. I am not worried about if I would get a fair or a crooked judge, as I am not going to do anything that would cause me to be sentenced by a judge. We need to quit worrying about discipline, as we have the power to completely by-pass it. You can be an EXCEPTION, by simply doing what is just and right..
There are some wives who are loving and beautiful in all of their ways. There are some children who obey so well, their parents rarely have to discipline them at all. If you really can’t understand or tolerate being disciplined, just don’t do anything to deserve this type of punishment. Don’t use glib excuses like adults should not be punished, or spanking is not something for our day and time. If anything, we need MORE of such discipline in our homes and society. It is the absence of meaningful discipline that has helped turned our world into a place where people have been “liberated” from peace, joy, and security, in the name of a belief system based upon error and denial of biblical truth. This SHAM (secular humanist and moronic) has created more violence than our world has ever known, and it is done so based upon a pretext of being against physical violence! It is like those who kill others in the name of God, while pretending to be loving and caring representatives of the Most High..
When God returns to rule, the ROD OF IRON will be the standard of discipline. Only those who do wrong, will face His swift and fair discipline. We need to follow His lead, and employ strong discipline policies as a way to PREVENT cruel and unusual punishment upon innocent people by brute criminals. The most UNMERCIFUL thing an authority figure can do is to do NOTHING when people under them do wrong. A short pattern of this type of neglect, will lead to long term problems for all concerned. Most families today, have reached this tragic point. If we do rectify this situation soon, we may just as well prepare for a most violent and bleak future..
There should not be any true exceptions to a rule of law and punishment, as no one should be above the law. You can be 100% accountable for your words, deeds, and actions, without having to endure discipline in any form. Just do right, love and respect others, and you will never earn the penalties law violators are subject to. Don’t be so stupid as to claim the PENALTY is an offense, as this will only insure an increase in the lawlessness in our world. Measured and fair punishment can do wonders to change people, when they become aware that swift justice is a certainty if they do wrong. Anything less, is an open invitation for trouble and rough times ahead. .
06. SHOULD CORPORAL PUNISHMENT EVER BE MANDATORY FOR ADULTS?.
This section will deal with the consent issue, as related to DD and corporal punishment in general. While I recognize adults are not children, at times some of them act as if they are. Even adults who act their age may benefit from being disciplined using CP, under certain circumstances. Here are some examples for your consideration:.
ADULTS LIVING WITH PARENTS, FRIENDS, OR RELATIVES: If an adult is a member of someone else’s household, they should be subject to whatever rules and penalties the “head of the house” has established for all household members. This is based on the saying, “if you live in my house, you go by my rules.” Any adult who is not willing to abide by such policies, should not be permitted to reside in a home where these type policies are in effect..
SPOUSAL DISCIPLINE: I believe spousal discipline is a biblical concept, and commanded of God. If you have read this book from the beginning, you already know my reasons for believing in spousal DD. While this is not a generally accepted truth, I believe any open and honest person will have to admit there is scriptural evidence to support this view. If you have read THE BOOK (the bible), you should be able to determine this matter for yourself. The Holy Spirit is a great teacher, but you have to “have ears to hear” to be educated by Him..
JUDICIAL DISCIPLINE: As mentioned elsewhere, I believe CP can be an effective tool to help discourage criminals from committing crimes on a routine basis. If criminals were punished in a meaningful manner, jail would be a place they would fear being placed into. (instead of a place to simply “pass time” in) CP could also be offered as an option, in lieu of long prison sentences. Handled properly, CP can be stern punishment without causing serious or permanent damage to anyone..
MY CREATIVE CP OPTION PLAN: Since so many of the liberal-humanist politicians and law makers are so biased against CP, I have a plan which might really help restore law and order in our homes and society in general..
Why not have law abiding citizens sign CP waivers, so lawful authority figures could use CP in the event the citizens committed any criminal acts? This would work especially well with youthful adults, who are so prone to get into trouble. As it now stands, most young law violators get away with many petty and major crimes. (at least for the first few offenses) The judicial system has become a profit making business venture, as most local court systems are in reality “collection agents” for the cities and towns they operate in. Traffic fines, minor drug offenses, etc., are just “money in the bank” to many politicians. The LAST THING they want, is for everyone to abide by the law and dry up these financial resources..
The use of CP for first time offenses, would work VERY WELL to deter repeat offenses. Only hard core criminal would risk being sent to jail, and even the worst criminals might reconsider their chosen vocation and get a job like everyone else. Remember, an adult should have the option to say YES, even when it comes to things like CP. A signed CP waiver might keep the bad boys and girls out of trouble, or even keep them out of the hospital or the grave..
Almost all of our politicians pretend they care about protecting our rights, UNTIL we decide to avail ourselves of the benefits the constitution is suppose to provide us with. Try quoting the constitution or the bill of rights to a cop or a judge, and you quickly find out how well they respect it. These “officials” will very likely giggle and mock you, as they lead you off to jail..
MANDATORY CP IS A VALID CONCEPT, WHEN HANDLED PROPERLY: There are circumstances when CP should be administered, no matter if the person being punished agrees with it or not. The criminals in Singapore and other places learn this in a very practical manner. Commit certain crimes, and a judge may prescribe a visitation by Mr. Cane. If you think this is cruel and unusual punishment, try living in a crime ridden city in America or a big city in other so-call civilized countries. Do so, and you will soon discover how cruel life can be. .
There are also some wives who are punished by their husband, no matter if they agree with the CP option or not. In such a case, the wife may choose to vacate the marriage, call the police, or simply COMPLY. As with the case for judicial discipline, this is something many people will not agree to as being an “acceptable” practice. My position would be I would rather obey God, than man. Since God gives His OK regarding CP, I have no problem with those who implement DD into their marriage relationship. On the other hand, I believe those who don’t are walking on “thin ice” in the spiritual sense..
If you believe CP is an effective way to deal with your “carnal self,” why not submit yourself to some type of authority figure to hold you accountable for what you do? It could be a parent or relative, mentor, or your spouse. If love is the basis of your relationship with them, your CP will never become abusive in nature..
It would be nice if our judicial system at least made CP a voluntary option, for those who are caught and convicted of committing crimes. It would be even better if everyone agreed to be subject to CP, to help them stay out of trouble. CP works! A short term of temporary discomfort may well prevent a lifetime of misery for you, and others who care for you. Don’t be so foolish as to rule out the best method there is for controlling our carnal nature. When we KNOW there is a price to pay for our offenses, you can bet there will be a lot less of them committed..
Until things change, or until Jesus returns to rule this Earth, we can all submit on our own by signing waivers to insure a degree of accountability for us. (see sample waiver below) This simple CP waiver also includes a “false imprisonment” waiver, to protect the mentor from being charged with false imprisonment. False imprisonment is a very broad legal term which could be include punishments like “grounding”, or tying the hands of a person being disciplined. (some may ask this, to prevent them from having their hands injured attempting to block the impact of a spanking implement) It our day and time, one cannot be too careful regarding things like this. The anti-spanking people have deceived many people who will “jump at” an opportunity to destroy a family and household where spanking is used to help maintain order in the home. In their mind, “all hitting” is wrong. If you doubt this, they will promptly “stomp you” and your God given constitutional rights into the ground..
I believe a VOLUNTARY CP WAIVER concept can side-step these issues, and rob the infidels of their power over many in society. If both the spanker and the spankee agree to the terms of such an agreement, they are powerless to do anything to stop CP from being used as a force for good. If enough people sign such a document, society will change so much for the better these infidels will fade along with their wretched and godless doctrines. Do nothing, and we will all suffer the consequences..
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